


look me in my eyes, tell me everything’s not fine

by takenbadgering



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Rewrite, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Evil Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Misunderstandings, Near Death Experiences, Other, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Regret, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Trauma, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, dw its just dream still, one gets comfort one doesnt, so canon dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering
Summary: Tubbo refuses to believe Tommy’s alive, but orders Ghostbur to provide proof to the claim.Meanwhile Techno and Phil have grown protective over Tommy as they settle into the new normal in their tundra cottage.In the process of proof and justification, during a brief interaction in the nether, Tubbo realizes just how badly he fucked up.Oh, and Dream’s around just to keep Tommy on his toes.-title: Blood // Water by grandson
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Floris | Fundy & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 752





	look me in my eyes, tell me everything’s not fine

**Author's Note:**

> this was canon compliant until monday came around and tubbo found out tommy was alive fr sigh  
> also i haven't figure out how to write ranboo yet, so hes not in this

* * *

“What are you guys talking about?” Ghostbur fluttered into the meeting room. In his hands were Friend’s leash and another bundle of blue. His smile was wide and innocent, and it felt out of place. 

Tubbo had his head resting on the table. He had deep, deep bags under his eyes and his lips were horribly chapped. “It’s nothing.” His voice cracked and he quickly hid his face again. 

“Calm yourself, Tubbo. Have some blue.” Ghostbur tossed the small bundle towards him quickly, frowning now. “It doesn’t seem like nothing.” 

“Da- Ghostbur,” Fundy sighed slightly, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t look much better than Tubbo. His eyes were puffy like he’d been crying. “Tommy, your little brother… he… he’s dead. We’re planning his funeral.” 

Ghostbur blinked. “No he’s not.” 

“Yeah, dad, he is.” He sniffled, looking away. 

Quackity stood up. His chair made a horrible noise against the floor. “He killed himself, Wilbur. We found the tower in Logstedshire, and everything was blown up.” Half of his face was still wrapped in bandages, after his fight with Technoblade, and it was clear he’d been crying through them. 

“Yeah, but…” Ghostbur cocked his head slightly.

“No buts!” Quackity cut him off. His fists were clenched on the table, knucleks white. Silently, he passed him another bundle of blue.

“I never would’ve thought…” Tubbo hiccuped, “He’s Tommy. He was always full of so much fire. I didn’t know… It’s all my faut.” He cried quietly into his suit jacket. 

“I just saw him, though,” Ghostbur shook his head, passing Tubbo more blue. 

“Oh god, he’s a ghost now too!” He wailed. 

“No.” He shook his head quickly. “I just gave him some blue before coming here. He said, ‘thank you, ghostbur’, and I said, ‘you’re welcome now can i blow up your cobblestone tower?’ and Philza burst out laughing. See it’s funny because he built this awful cobblestone tower, even though he’s living in Technoblade’s basement and in hiding-” He stopped suddenly. Everyone stared at him. “Wait no! He’s dead! Forget I said anything!” He squeaked, eyes wide, already backing out of the room. 

Tubbo was already jumping up. “Show us! And that’s an order from your president, Wilbur!”

“Tommy,” Techno nudged him roughly. Tommy just groaned and pulled his blanket over his head, rolling away. 

“Tommy,” Techno repeated, nudging him harder. Tommy groaned louder and pulled the blanket tighter. 

“Tommy,” Techno yanked the blanket from him. Tommy immediately hissed and curled up tightly. 

“What! Arsehole!” Tommy shouted, blinking his eyes open to the harsh light slowly. 

“You have to get up,” Techno said calmly, “It’s like noon, and we have to check on the Hound Army today.” 

“Fine!” He snapped, pushing himself to sit up. Satisfied, Techno tossed the blanket back on the bed and left the way he came. 

It only took about 5 minutes before Tommy came up as well. He was dressed appropriately for the cold weather, but was still swaddled up in his blanket. He plopped down at the dining table, across from Techno, who was reading a book that Tommy didn’t care to read the title of. 

Philza was stirring something at the stove, and shot him a smile when he noticed him. “Perfect timing! The soup is just about finished.” 

“What kind?” Tommy yawned, leaning on the table on his elbow. 

“Turtle,” Phil answered, “With that turtle farm, there’s a lot of meat so I figured I’d try my hand at cooking with it.” 

Tommy was too tired to form an opinion of turtle meat ahead of trying it, like he usually does. 

“How late were you two up with Ghostbur last night?” Techno asked after several seconds of silence. He had closed his book and was looking between them with slight amusement. 

“He wanted to blow up my tower!” Tommy whined, pouting at the table now. 

Phil laughed. “We stayed with him until it stopped snowing, so probably 2 or 3 in the morning.” 

“No wonder he slept so long,” Techno snickered, gesturing to Tommy. 

“Oh fuck off!” Tommy swatted at him. Phil laughed while Techno tried to hide his smile. 

It was only about an hour before they’d finished eating and had geared up completely. Philza had decided last minute to come with them, reasoning that there were things he needed to get from his old house in L’Manberg. 

Plus, he hadn’t seen all of Techno’s dogs yet, which, Techno assured, were bred to be the cutest, fiercest, toughest dogs on the server. And Phil figured it must be true, because Tommy didn’t argue with that statement in the slightest. 

“Tommy, aren’t you banned from the nether?” Philza asked suddenly, as they passed through the portal. 

“Oh shit, I am.” Tommy crouched behind a large netherrack mound.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” Techno scoffed, striding down the horribly obvious cobblestone pathway. 

Tommy glanced at Phil, face pulled into a bright grin. Phil returned with a softer smile, but happy nonetheless. Tommy straightened and rushed to catch up. 

Across the nether, Ghostbur was filling the void of silence by talking nonstop as he led a shaky Tubbo, Quackity, and Fundy across the cobble bridge to Logstedshire. 

“Ghostbur,” Quackity cut Ghostbur off from explaining the probably-factually-incorrect-intricacies of whales, “Are you sure Tommy’s alive?” 

Ghostbur stopped and faced the trio. “Of course I am.” He frowned, tilting his head slightly. “I spent like… several hours with him just a bit ago.” 

With a small sigh, Tubbo nodded and motioned for Ghostbur to continue. Ghostbur turned to continue down the path but stopped suddenly. “I think I’m on the wrong path.” He gestured ahead, where the path was destroyed. 

Fundy rubbed his own forehead and sighed, “Dad…” 

“We’re supposed to be up there!” Ghostbur pointed to a platform a ways away from them, slightly raised from where they stood. 

Collectively, they all internally sighed at Ghostbur’s shy, apologetic smile. “Alright, le[ts go back and go on that bridge instead,” Tubbo stepped forward. 

As they turned to go, there was the sound of a ghast shrieking. Immediately, Quackity drew his bow and Fundy shouted, “Get down, Mr President!” But no fireblast came. 

Instead, there was a battle cry and someone nearby yelling, “Philza, get down! I’ll save you!!” 

Phil laughed as Techno launched himself at the ghast. “I can protect myself you know.” 

“I will protect you!” Techno hollered, wacking the fireball back like it was a baseball. 

Tommy cackled next to his dad, doubled over. It was a nice sound, one none of them had heard in a while. 

Finally, he scored a hit and the ghast died with a final screech. “Don’t worry, you’re safe now, Phil.” Techno straightened his armor, barely breathing heavily. 

“Thank you, Techno,” Phil laughed, smiling slightly at him. 

Techno nodded and motioned for them to continue walking. Tommy took another moment to wipe his eyes and stop shaking, before he was able to walk again. Though he was still snickering, he couldn’t look at Techno or Phil, or he risked bursting out laughing again. 

“Something funny, Tommy?” Techno asked, face and voice perfectly monotone. To any outsider, it would read as a threat. 

Tommy’s nostrils flared and he bit his lip, marching straight ahead. They’d just emerged from the cobble pathway that was embedded in netherrack and were now crossing the cobble bridge over the large lava lake. 

“Hey! Philza! Tommy! Techno!” Ghostbur called from seemingly out of nowhere. It made Tommy jump and look around quickly. Phil and Techno scanned the area much more calmly. “Over here!” Ghostbur waved his arms wildly. “Oh, watch out!”

Finally, Tommy spotted him on the sister bridge. He didn’t hesitate to wave back, grinning widely. Meanwhile, Techno was trying to shoot down another ghast that was aiming at them. Tommy tore his eyes away for a second to shoot at the ghast as well. He hit it and it turned invisible Techno spun around to glare at him and stand imposingly over him. “Tommy,” He huffed, seemingly unhappy. But they knew him better than that. 

You’re alive...” Someone spoke suddenly. Tommy’s eyes shifted to notice the group Ghostbur was with and he tensed. Tubbo, Fundy, and Quackity stood a few feet away from Ghostbur, who was still smiling and waving. Slowly, painfully slowly, Tommy’s playful demeanor dropped and he faced the group fully. He couldn’t help but notice the way Fundy and Quackity had their weapons drawn, and the way they seemed to be shielding Tubbo. _But from what? From him?_ He whimpered slightly, partially curling in on himself as his hands began to shake, not from laughter this time, and his heart thudded so loudly in his chest. Fundy had been the one to speak. His voice had sounded raw and shocked. Why, Tommy didn’t know

“And you’re with _them_ ,” Quackity narrowed his eyes. Tommy gulped slightly and glanced at Phil—who was standing behind and to the left of Tommy, his stance was protective, sword drawn, eyes narrowed—and then at Techno—who’d paused looking for that invisible ghast, crossbow still loaded in hand like he was daring any of them to try something, his lips were curled back into a grin, but not the happy kind—and back at Quackity. Ghostbur had finally picked up on the mood and had stopped waving and smiling. 

“Tommy,” Tubbo’s soft voice cut through the ambient bubbling of lava. It made Tommy’s eyes snap to him instead. And he was almost knocked off balance by the sheer _anguish_ in his face. Almost, being the key word here. Still, it made his heart ache in a way it hadn’t since Dream physically dragged him away from the L’Manberg border. 

“Tubbo,” He replied, just as gently. Subconsciously, he stepped towards his former best friend. He wasn’t sure where this was going, and he didn’t want to spoil his chances at whatever inevitable gamble came his way, in advance. He allowed himself, for a moment, to miss his friend—to truly mourn. 

Tubbo lightly nudged passed his guards, eyes still trained on Tommy. He wasn’t wearing armor and didn’t appear to have any weapons on him either. A cynical part of Tommy was reminded of Schlatt, but he pushed that down real quick. 

Tubbo reached out, as if to touch him. But they were too far away. _Though, if Tommy ran and jumped,_ Tubbo realized suddenly, _he’d be in my arms_. Tommy seemed to realize this as well as he glanced nervously between his extended hand and his face. 

Tommy opened his mouth to say something, but the only sound that rang out in the open nether was the screech from the stupid ghast. Tommy cried out in pain as a fireball exploded at his back, and then he was falling. 

Several things happened at once: 

Firstly, Tubbo’s fingertips brushed Tommy’s, just barely, and they made eye contact. It lasted only a millisecond, as the second it did, Tommy screamed. Tubbo’s body moved to follow, subconsciously about to throw himself down with him. _This was so much worse than finding out he really was dead_ , Tubbo thought frantically, _to get him back only to have him ripped away for real a moment later._ It was only Fundy and Quackity hooking their arms through his and holding him back that stopped him as he screamed for his best friend. He didn’t even realize he was crying until his vision began to blur. 

Secondly, Techno was ripping his armor off as fast as he could, eyes glued to the spot Tommy had been standing a moment before. He took a bite out of a golden apple, and then he threw himself off the platform as well. Philza made a noise, but didn’t hold him back. He knew Techno better than that—he wouldn’t mindlessly throw himself into lava, even to save some he cared for, without a plan. Sure enough, as he fell after Tommy, he drank a sunset colored potion. 

Lastly, on the shore, across the lava lake, a masked man hopped onto a strider. But no one had noticed him yet. 

Tubbo sank to his knees with a pained animalistic cry as Tommy’s body disappeared below the glowing lava, and Fundy and Quackity finally released him. “Tommy…” Fundy spoke so quietly, one couldn’t be sure he even meant to say it aloud. They watched as Techno disappeared too. 

When Quackity looked up, he saw that Philza, meanwhile, was already scaling down the netherrack to get to the gravel shore. It took him a moment or so to process what he was seeing, but he was quickly joining him. Tubbo and Fundy followed the moment they caught on. 

Down in the lava, Techno barely struggled to find Tommy’s now-limp body. He immediately pulled him to the surface and forced another thick, sunset-colored potion down his throat. Tommy made a strained, guttural noise in his arms. Techno sighed in relief: he wasn’t too late. 

Now, Techno looked around, scanning for the shoreline, as he treaded the viscous lava. Even with him having the forethought to ditch his armor, which would’ve slowed _and_ weighed them down, it was still taking a lot of his energy to keep them high enough that he could see where he was going. 

“Need some help?” Someone sidled up next to them, on the back of a strider. 

Techno strained slightly to look up at him. Then, he narrowed his eyes. “Dream,” He greeted calmly, despite his current position. 

“Technoblade!” Dream’s smile behind the mask was audible, even over the bubbling lava. “I can take him to shore. It’ll be faster, and I’m sure Philza has potions he can give him when we get there.” 

Techno sized him up. “You’ll do it as a friend.” It wasn’t a question. “No future favors or boons due.” 

Dream mulled over this for a moment before nodding. “Just as an act of good faith.” 

As satisfied as he was going to be, Techno passed Dream the still-limp teenager. As promised, Dream headed towards where Philza stood. The L’Manbergian cabinet was about half way down. 

Now without a weight holding him down, Techno was able to move much more than before. He swam behind the strider, though not nearly as fast. 

Dream deliberately didn’t make his strider run, not that anyone could tell at this distance. It worked in his favor, seeing as 2/3rds of the way into the trip to the shore, Tommy stirred awake and looked around. 

“Tommy,” He sang softly, keeping his voice deadly sharp. 

The effect was instantaneous. Tommy’s entire body tensed and he blinked up at him, clearly struggling to focus. 

“You fell into the lava,” He said slowly, staring down at him. 

He didn’t miss the way Tommy’s hands began to shake, or the way he gulped and averted his eyes. 

“I saved you.” He looked back towards their target, pretending he wasn’t doing anything. 

A beat of silence and then, “S-sorry, Dream,” Tommy choked out, clearly struggling to talk. He probably inhaled some nasty stuff, if the cough that followed was anything to go by. 

“Mmm, good boy.” He was quiet as they got within hearing range of Philza. 

Phil immediately scooped up his youngest son, and set him on the ground. He had lied out his cape and shawl over the gravel, folding both twice in the hopes to give a bit of cushion. “Tommy, can you hear me?” He asked, cupping his cheeks. 

Tommy nodded slightly, and then gave a lung-rattling cough. 

A sliver of relief shone on his face before he turned and began to pull out potions. While he was turned away, Dream gave Tommy once last look that made his whole body shake, before he left. 

When Phil turned back around, he was focused on helping Tommy swallow an instant health potion. Once that was done, he had him just lie back while he assessed his burns. “Thankfully, it’s mostly 2nd degree burns,” Phil announced as Techno pulled himself onto the shore, leaning back on his heels. Techno pulled out a regeneration pot. 

Just as Phil took it to help Tommy drink it, Quackity, Fundy, and Tubbo all hit the ground. “Tommy!” Tubbo shouted, running immediately towards him. 

Still dazed and in pain, Tommy flinched back violently. “Sorry,” He blurted instinctually, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” He squeezed his eyes closed. 

Everyone froze. 

“No one’s mad,” Phil said carefully, “We want to help. Can I touch you? You’re sitting on gravel right now and I doubt it’s comfortable.” He reached out slow enough to not spook him. 

Tommy gave a shaky nod and it wasn’t until Phil touched him that he realized he was shaking. Oh so gently, he pulled him back to the “blanket” spread out on the ground. 

“I didn’t mean to though,” Tommy whispered, “It was an accident.” He scrubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Distantly, he knew he was in pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus on that. 

“Tommy,” Fundy whispered, looking like he wanted to step forward to hug him. 

He flinched slightly again. “Please don’t hurt me.” He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to make himself as small as possible. He tried to focus on keeping his breathing steady and Philza’s comforting hand on his back. 

“We weren’t…” Fundy’s voice died in his throat. He looked so lost. He glanced back at Tubbo and Quackity. 

Techno shifted and stood up in one elegant movement. Armorless, wielding just his pickaxe, he slid himself between the former Butcher Army members and Tommy and Philza. “I think you need to go.” He said gruffly, making pointed eye contact with each person. Fundy immediately ducked his head. Tubbo just kept glancing between him and Tommy. Quackity stayed glaring at his glowing pickaxe. 

As Fundy backed up, Tubbo stepped forward. “Please, Techno… I… he…” He swallowed thickly, eyes welling up, and searched Techno’s eyes for any shred of understanding. 

Techno stared him down for a long, tense minute. Then, he glanced back at Philza and Tommy, who wasn’t shaking so violently anymore but his gaze was still distant and trained on the ground. “Does Tommy _want_ to see Tubbo?” He asked coolly. 

“Tommy?” Phil asked gingerly. 

“Yes?” Tommy looked up slowly, trying to focus on Phil now. The pain was seeping back into his body, drip by drip by drip. 

“Is it okay if Tubbo comes over? I think he wants to talk to you.” Phil said kindly, offering a slightly pained smile.  
“Why?” Tommy’s voice was slightly strained still, “Am I in trouble?” 

“No, Toms, not at all.” Phil shook his head. “I think he just misses you and wants to make sure you’re okay after that fall.” 

“Misses me?” He repeated, sounding unsure. “But I’m right here. Though… I guess he can, if he really wants to.” He rubbed his eyes again. 

Techno stepped aside and motioned for Tubbo to step ahead. He watched all three of them closely anyway. 

Tubbo went to jog towards his possibly-former best friend, but thought better of it at the last minute. Instead, he walked forwards slowly, making sure he made no quick moments. He carefully lowered himself down onto his knees on the gravel, ignoring the sharp pressure of the tiny stones that were warmed to an uncomfortable level by the lava. Silently, he wishes he had worn armor like Philza or just had thicker clothes like Techno. “Tommy? It’s me, Tubbo.” He focused on looking into Tommy’s eyes, which were shadowed slightly by his longer, now-partially-singed bangs. 

“Tubbo?” Tommy somewhat struggled to look up, but struggled drastically more to actually meet his face. It seemed to make him nervous, seeing as his hands began to shake again. “Do you need something?” 

“I just wanted to see if you-” 

“Don’t bullshit me!” He snapped suddenly, glaring at the lava, “You never came and visited me once when I was in exile!” He shouted the second part, his voice bouncing around the tall cliffs. For a moment, just a moment, their eyes met and Tommy’s reflected nothing but the lapping lava and it took a second for Tubbo to realize he was crying. 

But then, all at once, it was gone. Tommy ducked his head and shrunk back in on himself. A single shaky inhale passed between them and then Tommy was whimpering, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I just lost my temper. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’m sorry.” He rubbed his eyes harshly again, wiping away thick tears. 

Tubbos heart was in his throat. _What have I done?_ , he thought, _God, I’m truly horrible. Everyone’s right; I’m turning into Schlatt, breaking Tommy down like this._ He wanted to vomit and he wanted to cry, though, preferably, not at the same time. 

“It’s okay,” he choked out, “You’re right.” 

Tommy’s head snapped up, even though his eyes didn’t. “I am?” He asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah, you are. You always are. Rule 1, remember?” He managed to give a watery smile.  
“Yeah, I do,” Tommy nodded slightly, “It’s just something dumb I said though. It isn’t true; I’m wrong all the time.” He tilted his head back down and said nothing more, fiddling with his own fingers anxiously. 

Tubbo immediately wanted to argue that. Tommy was already right, in the end, he was learning. He hadn’t found a single issue that he had wished Tommy hadn’t given input on. But he chose not to. It would be paradoxical and it would make the urge to cry even worse. Instead, he said, “I’ll take your word for it.” 

At the same time, Techno stepped forward, deliberately grinding gravel under his boot. “Time for you to go, Tubbo.” He touched his shoulder. The unspoken threat weighed on everyone, except, it seemed, for Tommy. Tubbo stood up slowly and gave Tommy one last look. 

And then, “Philza Minecraft!” Ghostbur hollered from above, still on the cobblestone pathway, “Can you place a boat? You all are being so sad I can feel it from up here! You all need some blue!” 

Phil managed a small smile and wordlessly placed down a boat. Ghostbur shouted his thanks and then jumped. And missed. He landed flat on the ground, but, being dead, had no ill side effects. Plus, it looked cartoonishly funny. A beat of silence passed and then Tommy burst out laughing, and while it quickly devolved into a coughing fit, it was still nice. Philza passed him another instant health potion, and once it was downed, Tommy went back to laughing, even with his voice still hoarse. Once again, only Tommy seemed to miss Ghostbur's elated grin, as if he'd managed some amazing feat—which he had. 

Tubbo gave a much weaker chuckle, before he returned to his men’s sides. 

In his dreams that night, Tommy dreamt of sitting on a warm wooden bench while the soft orchestra music of Mellohi was being drowned out by the laughter of an old friend. He slept contently with a smile deep into the morning. 

In his dreams that night, Tubbo felt the slightest brush against his outstretched fingertips above nearly unbearable heat as a ghast’s echoing shriek harmonized with his old friend’s pained cry for help. He slept fitfully for only a little while in the early hours of the day.

* * *


End file.
